some of the sweetest words

some of the sweetest sounding words ever spoken to me were just uttered.

i was sitting at my desk reading some very unimportant news articles when another intern came bursting into my cube, whence upon these words were spoken: "free food, let's go." We left my cube in a flash. Curious as to the source of such priveledged information, i quizzed the other intern briefly only to discover that his superior had been in a meeting-of-sorts and had left some food behind. we briskly raced forth, dodging the occasional pedestrian and copy machine user in order to get to the source of said wonder before anyone else could have learned of such heathen treasures. like ponce de leon closing quickly in on the fabled fountain of youth, everything slowed almost to a halt; our frantic manouvers through the throng of disguntled employees seemed more like a ballet than a chaotic sprint towards some material lust, more like a slow, romantic evening waltz than a pack of dogs running white-hot after a fat rabbit. we entered the meeting room and closed the door behind us, sealing out the woes and ways of this damn-ed world, and stood breathlessly in the wonder and awe of the sight of a free breakfast. a smorgasbord fit for king henry himself was laid out before us in a meticulous and very baroque fashion. rows upon rows of gleaming sterno oven trays filled with a cornucopia of french toast triangles, crusty eggs, and slick looking sausage patties danced in front of our eyes like children dancing about a may pole. after a few moments of revered silence, i gained my breath back and searched the table for the silverware and paper plates, then proceeded to fill my plate, almost the the point of failure of the plate itself with several triangles of holy french toast, a few strips of glistening, crisp bacon, and whatever amount of eggs i could forcefully remove from the bottom of the egg pan. it was then that i noticed a small gilded bowl of yoghurt and an accompanying plate of granola, whereupon i dollupped a healthy serving of yoghurt and granola upon another, smaller plate. i was getting ready to race back to my desk to indulge in as many of the deadly sins as would this bounty support when, out of the corner of a tear filled eye, i saw intruders. two women had entered our temple of free food unannounced and commenced to lament about "how difficult it is to be on a diet when there's free food all the time" and how "the bacon [looked] 'nasty'." how foolish were these women not to take full advantage of free food without first demonizing it! at this point, i felt as though our stay in this holy place had been without blemish and complete and it was time for a hasty departure. back out into the real world we pushed on, whereupon coworkers looked at our plates laden with a fool's demise with eyes searching, wanting to know the source. wary to divulge such valuable information, we pressed on back through the throngs of business back to our desks. i sit here now, fully content, and completely sick, content with our pillage like a viking crew returning to their boats with sacks full of gold, spices, and jewels, ready to embrace their conquests with drink and folly. i, too, will celebrate this conquest by returning to reading unimportant news articles, while every so often noticing the smell of pancake sirrup wafting out of my trash can. i leave you, the reader, with this post-conquest correspondence:

To: Poon, Jackie
Sent: Thursday, August 16, 2007 9:29 AM
From: Walter, Jimmy
Subject:

I have had my fill of adventure for the morning. That will have to be reserved until after lunch.

_____________________________________________
From: Poon, Jackie
Sent: Thursday, August 16, 2007 9:27 AM
To: Walter, Jimmy
Subject:

Fellow intern, you have now accomplished your first goal of finding quality free food…..I now challenge you to find out where the mystery door is located before your internship ends……bwahahahaha